I wanted to start this site off with posting some more contemporary technical posts about what I have been learning. However, I am going to start with a timeline of some major events, and life struggles with ADHD, anxiety, learning disabilities, how I broke into the IT industry and my current frustrations with hiring IT employers’ obsessions with vendor-based certifications.
Starting all the way back when I started primary school (1984), I was already struggling academically, I had issues with paying attention, keeping up with the work in class, making or keeping friends because of disruptive behaviour. I struggled with speech and could not pronounce the letter S correctly, however, speech therapy corrected that.
1984 was also the year that dad bought a Commodore 64 home computer, little did I know that my interest in playing video games on the C64 was the beginning of my passion for IT today.
I was still struggling academically with reading and writing at primary school. I could read ok but not for extended periods of time, which put me off reading the larger kid’s novel books, my handwriting and spelling was horrible, I was given a rubber triangle thing in grade 2 that went over the pen to try and help me hold the pen correctly, as specialists thought that was the cause of the poor handwriting. Oh boy were they wrong.
In the early years of high school, I was told that my poor handwriting, spelling, and grammar made my assignments unreadable. These days this learning disability is known as dysgraphia, which is related to dyslexia. School suggested that a laptop with accessibility tools would be a great asset for my education. In the early 90s, owning a laptop was only for rich people so that never happened. But I did have a second-hand Commodore Amiga at that stage and was able to use that to type up essays, however it lacked any spelling correction software.
I was first diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 14, it was not called ADHD back then, but I was only treated for less than a year. I was told I had concentration issues and was prescribed dexamphetamine to help with it.
It was working well, and my schoolwork started to improve, but once the doctor told my parents that dexamphetamine was a derivative of speed, I don’t think that sat well with them. Mum said that Dad did not like that the psychiatrist had told him that many of my issues were because of him, it turns out, that is ironically true in more ways than the psych said, because my Dad ended up being diagnosed with ADHD later in life as well.
Because I was only treated for my ADHD for such a brief time, my grades started to slip, by the time I got to year 11, I could not keep up with the rest of the class and I was failing midyear exams due to my poor working memory. I dropped out of high school halfway though year 11.
I wanted to just go straight to TAFE and study IT. But when mum found out how much that was going to cost, I was talked out of it, and talked into doing a trade instead, a fast-tracked first year apprentice course in carpentry over 6 months was the cheapest course on the list, and all mum could afford.
I spent the rest of 1995 in misery at trade school. At the age of 17 I was spending time with the wrong people in various social circles, at trade school, with friends that worked at the local video game store, and my uncle on mums’ side of the family.
When the written exams started, I dropped out of trade school, my poor working memory had the better of me again. By this stage I was a rebellious 17yo, smoking cigarettes and weed to deal with the frustrations and low self-esteem. I spent the next 3 years in that dark place, working in a dry cleaner as a shop hand to pay rent, my video games, and my weed addiction. Self-medication is quite common for people with undiagnosed or untreated ADHD and anxiety disorders.
By 1999 I had hit rock bottom, I had quit my job, gone on unemployment welfare benefits to pay rent, and sold most of my video game collection to pay for my weed addiction.
On the 31st of December 1999 I had my first major panic attack. That year my parents had divorced, the family home sold, and I had just found out that one of my best friends was seeing my sister and knowing what he was like I disapproved.
The next day I moved back home. The doctor put me on an anti-depressant to help me deal with the anxiety of coming off the weed and other self-medication experimentations I put myself though in 1999.
Throughout the year 2000, I cleaned myself up with the help of my mum, got a casual job, and I bought my first Windows based PC, I had previously used dads Pentium, but this was all mine, and I learnt how to do things like download tv shows that were not available here in Australia. I learnt to use things like IRC chat rooms and communicate with people on the other site of the world via chat services like ICQ and MSN Messenger.
Eventually I met someone that I would spend the next 12 years of my life with.
In 2001 I got a full-time job at Selectronic as a factory machine operator, winding transformer, and inductor coils. During my six and a half years there, I went from process worker, to test team leader, to holding a triple title of Test, QA, and Service repair shop Team Leader.
Selectronic paid for me to go to night school and complete a Certificate IV in Electronics. I tried to get the diploma but once again my poor working memory and concentration had me beat after 4 years of night school and working full time. One of the teachers were not very accommodating to my learning disabilities, I was one of the only students at the time that brought a laptop to class, I also had a USB electronic drawing tablet that I used to take school notes on and do circuit diagrams, and he questioned why I used that and thought it was more of a distraction.
However, I was happy to walk away with the cert 4, it still set the foundations to where I am today.
In 2008 I started working for GE security in their local electronic factory repair shop as a coordinator. GE were the 3rd biggest company in the world at the time, and I was feeling out of my comfort zone, where I reported to a manager in Singapore from here in Melbourne Australia.
That same year there was a tragic death in the family, my uncle had passed way in his sleep from pneumonia asphyxiation at the age of 49. He was the closest person I had to a lifelong male best friend. His sudden death shocked me to the core. To make that shock worse, on the day of the funeral, my sister had told me some horrible things that our uncle had done that I never knew about.
The anxiety, depression, and anger that followed, was too much for me. I impulsively quit my job at GE to take some time out. I have bottled this up as much as I could over the years. Going from mourning the loss of my Uncle and best friend to hating his guts and wanting justice in the space of a week, I know that this will mess with my head for the rest of my life.
Later that year my fiancé at the time heard of a job for a contracting position at the state’s Department of Justice IT unit where she worked. I successfully interviewed for the position of IT Client Requests and Purchasing Officer.
In 2009 as a side hustle, I volunteered to manage the web content, start up an IRC chatroom and manage public relations with video game companies for a local community video game review TV show called Level 3.
On the 10th of October 2010 I married my fiancé, and partner of 10 years. We were in a fair bit of debt at the time, and renting my mums town house she no longer lived in.
That same year I also pivoted my career to the IT helpdesk and later user account administration.
In 2011 I stared a new role as Product Lifecycle Coordinator within government at the states shared services IT provider Cenitex.
Now that I was married, the pressure was put on us about having children, and mum wanted to sell the house so she could retire. this kicked off another round of extreme anxiety for me as the debt we were in was only halfway finished paying off, and we were no closer to having even started saving for a deposit for our own house. For me buying a house and having that stability of home ownership was a prerequisite to having children.
In 2012 I helped some of the people form Level 3, start up a new TV show called New Game Plus by publishing their content online. all volunteer work for something I was passionate about.
I also completed a few IT courses funded by work that year to help me take on more technical queries in my role.
Towards the end of that year, my marriage had broken down and I was left heart broken.
Not getting any younger in 2013 I was on the rebound and ended up meeting someone that I have now been with for 7 years.
Fast forward to early 2014 my partner and I had be given some upsetting news about both our fertility, and the unlikely hood that either of us would be able to have naturally conceived children. My partner had just had an operation for two reproductive conditions one called, endometriosis and the other polycystic ovary syndrome. I had also been informed that I had a higher percent of abnormal sperm than expected after testing.
With children no longer in consideration we started to move on with life and started looking at house and land packages. We eventually signed a mortgage for a moderate 3-bedroom house on a 350sq meter block. I was so happy and excited that one of my major life goals was about to be a reality
A few weeks later I was on the bus to work and received a strange picture from my partner, it was a picture of a pregnancy test, IT WAS POSITIVE!!!
I got off the bus with my head spinning. I immediately proceeded to the train station to get back home as quick as I could, however somehow ended up on the wrong train line and it took me twice as long to get home. Panic anxiety will do that.
While all this was going on around mid-2014, I was invited by Microsoft to sign up to the Windows Insider program. The program gave me early access to the unreleased version of Windows 10 to help them iron out the bugs suggest new features and give me the opportunity to learn the new product before anyone else. Obviously, I signed up without hesitation.
Later that year I got some news at work that would shake up my career and possibly lead to redundancy if I did not do something about it. Having just signed up for a 30-year mortgage and having my first baby on the way, I was heading for another major anxiety driven breakdown.
Work was changing in unexpected ways; I saw some of them as a threat to my career and income to support my new family. However, I took it by the horns, and used it as an opportunity to learn Microsoft SCCM (System Center Configuration Manager) while at work.
2015 clicked around and life started to get in the way of extracurricular activity, we were building a house and expecting the arrival of our son in March.
This was also the year that I had decided to have my mental health reassessed, reason being is that I once again I found myself struggling with study, this time it was mostly self-paced and with not much help at work from peers.
I was referred to a psychiatrist that specialises in adult ADHD by my psychologist. At the second session I was re-diagnosed with ADHD, I supplied old school reports that showed learning and concentration difficulties and I even managed to track down the old childhood psychiatrist I saw as a teenager to supply documentation to my current psychiatrist. I was immediately put-on stimulant medication to try and see if it would help me stay focused on work, and study, and helping with the arrival of our baby boy.
Mid 2015 and work was ramping up, however, the upskilling opportunities at work started to dry up, and part of what I had learned very quickly turned into additional work without any kind of promotion or higher duties, due to the changes going on with that area of the business.
The decision to cease the upskilling contributed to a tremendous amount of anxiety I was already experiencing that day, one that I had expressed to my team lead and HR at the time, however my poorly worded anxiety fuelled email was misinterpreted, and they thought that I was personally attacking or blaming my team lead or the business for causing my anxiety.
I got in a bit of trouble for that email but ended in me formally engaging with the business regarding my mental health and ADHD.
So, the cat was out of the bag and I was determined to not let ADHD damage my career anymore. In fact, my employer has since been trying to accommodate me as best it can however, that is a story for another time.
Lots of things were happening at this time of my life by mid-2015, my son was born, we moved into our new house and I was managing things at work that I felt was a backwards step in my career.
I got inspired about 3 years ago to build a tech blog site which I called UnimatrixSCCM01 that idea failed for a few reasons and only ever got one blog post. To be honest I lost motivation, I was overwhelmed by the number of already good SCCM / Config Manager sites were out there. I was also discouraged when I failed the SCCM Current Branch exam twice in late 2016 and again in early 2017, after many years of using and studying the product.
I did not fail because of lack of knowledge or experience, I failed because the exam was not designed for people with a neurodivergent brain like mine. It was designed for people that have exceptionally good working memories and word meaning recognition. It was also designed for people that use the product the way Microsoft thought people used the product, not the way I was taught to use the product in my workplace.
For people who do not have issues with multiple choice questions where three out of the four answers all look correct, I have never understood how they know which of the three is the right one. This is where I feel that open book exams for industry and vendor-based certifications should be permitted for people that have diagnosable memory issues associated with conditions like ADHD.
Part 2 to this story is not yet over, as in I’m still living it, so that is why I have not written it yet. Who knows, perhaps someone reading this will reach out to me with a promotion or a job offer, wanting to be part of the closing credit to part 2.